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Robert Emmons, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis, and author of several books, including THANKS! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier (New York: Mariner Books, 2008) has studied the effects of gratitude for much of his career.  He and other researchers have found that, while some people are just naturally more positive more than others, the “practice” of gratitude can increase perceived happiness levels by 25%.  And those in the “practice gratitude” groups not only felt better about their lives as a whole than the control groups, but also experienced fewer physical symptoms, were more likely to progress toward their goals, exercised more and even slept better! 

And lest you think only California surfers or pop psychology gurus practice gratitude, consider this: the Wall Street Journal has reported on a real estate broker who kept a gratitude journal (12/31/09); the Graziadio Business Review (published by Pepperdine University) has published an article about the effects of gratitude in the workplace (2006), and WebMD features several articles touting the health benefits of an attitude of gratitude.  And spiritual traditions have incorporated various practices of gratitude for millenia. 

 Why not try it?  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Take just 3-5 minutes on two or three evenings in the next week to write down what you are grateful for.  List as many things as you can think of in the time you have allotted, or write in more depth about three things and why you are grateful for them. If you find this practice helpful, continue it through the holiday season and beyond.  And  return to it whenever things don’t seem to be going your way. 

Don’t limit your thanks-giving to Thanksgiving.  Practice gratitude all year long!

2.  You download every audio that comes your way and spend hours listening to them in your car.

3.  You can’t walk by a newstand or stand in line at the grocery store without checking out the headlines.

4.  You can’t go more than a little while without checking your e-mail.

5.  You have a mass of unorganized magazine clippings or Internet “favorites.”

If more than two of the above describe your life, or if one of them is causing problems with other people in your life, you may be an information junkie. 

You are not alone – there are lots of us out there.   We live in the “information age.”  And we are literally DROWNING in information.

Here’s how to come up for air:

1.  Recognize that information is no longer scarce.  There is little need to “save” information, because it is always just a Google search away.

2.  Recognize that information is no longer power (see #1).  Power comes from analyzing and digesting and USING information.

3.  If a bit of information is useful to you, then put it to use.  Otherwise, let it go. 

Information without implementation is clutter.  – Bill Baren and Patrick Dominguez

(from their e-book:  5 Time Mastery Techniques to Double Your Productivity Every Day)

“In your hours of work you make a living.  In your hours of leisure you make a life.”  ~Supreme Court Justice Robert H. Jackson (1892-1954)   

Were you surprised at the vintage of that quotation?  I was.   

Justice Jackson made that statement in a 1930 commencement address, urging the graduating seniors not to get caught up in vapid amusements, the “spend and spend and spend” mentality of the age or conformity to the crowd and commercialism.  While a few of his remarks are notably sexist or dated,  much of his message is as relevant today as it was in 1930.   

Here is another brief passage:     

“We live in an age of extreme busyness, of high pressure and speed. It hardens our faces and blights our souls. You should not mistake mere motion for progress, mere activity for achievement.”   

In the current age, it is not easy to avoid extreme busyness, high pressure and speed.  Unless you are a hermit, life conspires to make us rush around at ever faster speeds.  I invite you to enjoy a moment of true leisure today – and use that moment to plan more moments, and to think about how to use your “leisure” (i.e., non-working) hours in a truly fulfilling way.   

If you’d like to read the entire speech, here the link:  http://www.stjohns.edu/media/3/d7babbf5f8624c76ae93f45f81ee05fd.pdf?d=20100907   

But I also welcome the beginning of fall.  Every change of seasons prompts me to think about making a “fresh start” in one way or another.  But fall brings to mind the newness of a school year:  starting fresh with an empty notebook, sharpened pencils and new school clothes to replace those outgrown.  New teachers, new subjects, and, often, new classmates and friends.

Most of our adult jobs, whether they be at home or outside the home, volunteer or paid, don’t have that kind of “new beginning” built in.  We move from one project to the next, without a clear delineation between one project and the next, one year and the next.  It can start to feel like the “same old, same old.”

What if you could make a fresh start this fall?  Is there something  – some behavior, some attitude, some way of being – that you have outgrown?  Is there a subject you’d like to learn or master? Would you like to make new friends, find a new teacher, or try out a new sport or hobby?  If you could start with a clean notebook page for your daily life, what would you fill it with?

Start thinking about it – and watch for details about a new program I’ll be launching to support your fresh start.

After reading a few posts in this Inner Freedom series, you may have started to wonder:  Do we all have split personalities?

No - the vast majority of us do not have split personalities.  But we do all have “voices” in our heads.  Those voices reflect conflicting opinions and conflicting values we have picked up as we have gone through life.  And it is important for us to be aware of those conflicting voices, and to think about whether and how they serve us. 

Each voice arose to protect us or guide us in some way.  Each has a viewpoint to share.  The question is how we can get them to play nicely together, rather than scrapping and fighting and backstabbing.  Think of the different voices as your team.  Each has a perspective, a ”department” so to speak, and it is important to listen to all viewpoints.  Some of us are better at listening to our marketing voice than to those pests in accounting, or vice-versa.  Some of us need to play more, some need to play a bit less.  Some of us need to budget a bit more, and others of us need to loosen the pursestrings a bit and allow ourselves the freedom to spend. 

But this team needs a leader, and that leader is YOU – your aware, conscious self.  You might think of that self as your “inner coach.”   In sports, the coach leads the team, strategically deploys players, and helps them work together.   The coach helps the team celebrates wins and replay and dissects losses (in order to learn from them).  The coach builds on and leverages the strengths of the various team members.  The coach cheerleads, prods, cajoles, and trains.  And sometimes the coach puts on a stern voice and says, “just get out there and do it!”  In the best cases, the coach listens to – and follows -  her gut, though s/he may call that following her inner guidance or the leading of Spirit.

You are the coach.  And if you see that your inner team is in conflict, or not playing up to par, or taking too many (or not enough) risks, then call a team meeting.  Don’t let your team languish!

Not all those who wander are lost.”

-J.R.R. Tolkien

Some of the wanderers are exploring new places, new concepts, and new ways of being.  Some of them are wandering just to see where the path leads.  And (with deference to Tolkien), some of them are growing into the person they are destined to become!

When was the last time you let your inner child out to play? 

I’m not talking about being irresponsible or immature.  (Though, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else, that’s OK once in a while, too.) 

Think about what draws you to children.  It’s certainly not their immaturity.  What it is is their freshness, their openness, their intense curiosity, their tendency toward happiness, their ability to make the most of any situation in which they find themselves, their expectation that others will want to play with them, their ability to be easily amused, their lightness of spirit, their ability to revel in small wonders, and their capacity to shift from hurt to happy in the blink of an eye.  Too often these qualities disappear as we take on the responsibilities of adult life.  Too often the environments in which we find ourselves seem to suck these qualities out of us. 

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Let your inner child out to play:  expect love, go for it, ask for what you want – and don’t let one “no” stop you!).  Share your enthusiasm, negotiate, laugh, celebrate small miracles, notice the beauty in the pigpen, practice, and work for what you want with focused determination.  Play with others, support your friends, and enjoy being alive.  Express your love and emotions freely.  Flop down and rest when you need to.

So go ahead and enjoy the wisdom, experience and grace of maturity.  But don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater (very bad pun intended).

How often have you heard this phrase?  “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”

I have to say I generally agree with that.  If it’s worth doing, it’s worth giving it 100% – otherwise why do it?  There are so many options for how we could spend our time – why would we want to do something half-assed?  Carpe diem – seize the day.  And give every minute 100%.  Choose to excel.  Choose to live, rather than exist.  Choose to do, rather than drift.

But, especially as we achieve mastery at some things, that perspective can lead to a hesitancy to branch out and try new things that maybe we can’t do well, at least at first.  Like learning to play to the piano, or speaking from a stage for the first time or trying a Zumba class.  This can be especially acute when our inner critic gets into the act – we can become so concerned about how we appear to others and about “maintaining our reputation,” that we decline new opportunities. 

Try this perspective on for size: “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly, or averagely.”

The definition of ”learning” involves not knowing, not being a master, not doing it all that well, at first.  Think of a baby learning to walk.  She spends months learning just to balance in a standing position, then falls as often as she “walks.”  Think of an adult learning to play the trombone.  The first many days, he can hardly get a note out – and when he does, it may not sound like much!  But over time, with practice, both improve, and head toward mastery.  But if the baby was criticized every time she fell, she’d soon stop trying to walk.  And if the musician was laughed at every time he cracked a note, he’d soon stop trying to learn – or he’d only do it in the closet!

The only way to get better at anything is to practice – to do – and to risk falling.

And sometimes “falling” can feel like “failing.”  Especially if it involves something public – like losing your place during a public presentation.  And we have to accept that other people (with their own inner critics, their own insecurities, and their own agendas) may perceive our falling as failure.  But falling is really feedback.  We learn from our “mistakes.”  We learn by doing and trying new things and building our muscles, both physically and figuratively.  Mastery is attained one day at a time, one feedback loop at a time.

Feedback is not failure – it is just information.  Feedback (even when it is painful) is HELP on the way to our success.

So let your inner perfectionist relax.  It really is worth doing things badly.

In the last post,  I encouraged you to depose your inner tyrant – that voice that claims it will keep you safe, but more often keeps you from fully living.

But some of us are really good at thumbing our noses at the inner tyrant – maybe TOO good.  What I call the “inner rebel” rebels against any sort of directive or authority.  Even directives that make sense.  Even our own goals.  If it sounds or feels like a command or requirement, the inner rebel chafes.  It may not blatantly disobey, but you can be sure that it will undermine you at every turn.

The inner rebel resists anything that seems like “I have to” or “I should” – to the point of causing us to not do things we really would like to do, and that are in our OWN best interest.  Like avoiding too much sugar and caffeine so we don’t get wired and then crash.  Like engaging in a spiritual practice regularly, even though when we do it we LOVE it.  Like exercising to keep our bodies healthy and our minds clear.  Like finishing that dissertation.

So how can we keep the inner rebel from sabotaging our best efforts?  Reaching goals often requires some amount of discipline and hard work – and those can be four-letter words to the inner rebel. 

First, give it some respect.  Listen to what it has to say.  Does it have a point?  Are you doing things because someone else thinks you should, when you’d prefer to go another way?  Do you need to set more boundaries?  Do you need to say “no” to something?  Do you need to spend less time on doing and more time just being?

If what the rebel is rebelling against is your own desire for the discipline needed to get to a goal — a goal that is truly yours — then get the inner rebel on your team.  Remind it that no one is telling you what to do.  You are CHOOSING to [exercise, skip dessert, go to church, finish that project, etc.]  because you know the rewards will outweigh any temporary inconvenience.  Engage the rebel in fighting against distractions, rather than being one.  Deploy your inner rebel.  Get it off of offense and into defense.  Make your inner rebel your blocker and cheerleader, and watch yourself make an end run down the field to your goal!